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In Seine Reputation Wicked, Eva erfährt, dass Gareth Ruf ist wohlverdienten, sondern auch entdeckt, es gibt viel mehr zu ihm. Teilen Sie eine Situation, wo Sie einen ersten Eindruck von einer Person, gebildet aus Ruf, aber dann bekam, die Person zu kennen und verändert Ihre Meinung.
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I was transferred to another dept at work, and one of employee who was out on disability. I was warned about how difficult she would be to work with, and that she was very opinionated, and could be harsh. When she was due to return to work I was really nervous, but when she came returned I really did not find her at all difficult to work with. She was very efficient in her work, and a perfectionist, but so am I. We worked very well together and had fun while doing it. So glad that the opinions of others did not stop me from forming my own. We became very closed friends, and have remained so for the past 39 Jahre.
While in high school I had a classmate. A very pretty girl. She never talked to anyone and always kept to herself. Male classmates were always trying to capture her attention. Female classmates called her stuck up and did not want anything to do with her. In high school I was picked on a great deal by other students. I knew how it felt to ostracized for no reason. One day I went over to her and we got to talking. She was not stuck up at all. She was very shy and going through a hard time. Her parents had just divorced and she had to transfer schools. She did not know anyone and was self-conscious. We have been friends since we were 14. I am now 37.
When I was in middle school I belonged to a group of friends. There was this girl that was always by her self. She acted like she was better then us and it went on that way for years until my senior year and I ended up being public relations officer for a club and this girl won president. At the time the group of friends were angry about her getting it. But as the year progressed I started to talk to her. Here it turns out her mom was always on her case about school and she felt so much pressure to succeed. I ended up getting to know the real her not just the person she seemed to be to the outside world. We are now in our thirties and have been best friends since then. I’m so glad I took a chance to get to know her because she is always the first person I call when anything happens and she’s always there for me and my son!
There have been so many times over the years that I have heard things about people and then when I met them that person they were so totally different than the “gossip” that was going on about them. I try not to take what people say about someone to heart and go by my own instincts when I meet them.
I got a new boss and at first he was really mean until you got to know him.Then once you were around him.He came around and then he turned out to be really nice.
I had a boss who was domineering, quick-tempered, and downright mean. She expected a lot from people, rarely praised anyone when they went above and beyond what was expected of them, and was extremely rude and insulting.
I took her out to dinner one evening for Christmas and learned a little about her childhood. She was mistreated (to put it mildly) and ended up emancipating herself from her parents at the age of 15. She worked her way through high school and college and even received her masters and then went on to earn 2 doctorates!
I realized that her demeanor was a defense mechanism, and found it possible to see past it. I witnessed a frightened, wounded soul who felt she had to prove her worth and power. Buried deep, there’s a different side to her and I feel honored she allowed me to see a glimpse of it.
Now that’s not to say she changed. She still mistreated others and had a honey badger attitude. After 10 years of her punishment, I finally left the job I loved. But I’ve learned that usually, if you take the time to look past outward ugliness, you might find a softer, more pliable, more guarded center.
When I was in school, there was this girl that everyone said not to get around that she had a bad reputation when it came to the boys. Although you didn’t see her hanging out with a lot of boys. She was a very pretty girl and I set with her at lunch one day and we kind of hit it off. I found out she wasn’t that way at all she came from a bad family her parent drink a lot. We became really good friends. I don’t think you should judge someone just by something you here.
I have an upside down situation. I was introduced to a co-worker whom all said was a lovely person. And in fact, she had a quite outgoing personality. But underneath, she was duplicitous and manipulative. It was quite scary really how she had most everyone fooled. Eventually she betrayed the wrong person and all was brought to light. I never had to say a word.
My story taught me not to judge people based on looks, and it is a bit different from the other comments. When I first started at the company I have been with for 20+ years I was young and single. A friend and I were in the company gym and saw this really good looking guy. We thought he was the best male specimen ever but he had no idea who we were. Flash ahead 10 years and I work in a department with this same guy. He is now married, very arrogant and cheating on his wife. This taught me to look at the whole picture of someone and not just the pretty wrapping. I am now happily married to someone who is that whole package to me.
When I started a new job there was one woman who was very vocal about helping those of us in the new group. Traurig, we learned over the next months that her ‘help’ included insidiously putting us down, not sharing procedural updates and quietly sabotaging our efforts. I stayed as far away from her as possible until I left that job.
I try not to judge people by what I hear but rather by getting to know them. There is a woman I work with that everyone thinks is alittle crazy and annoying to work with but I think she is the nicest caring person and we are really good friends.
When I was interviewing for a job, my boss appeared to be friendly and welcoming. I had some concerns when I witnessed him yelling at staff but I thought it was a one time occurrence. As I began to work, I realized his short temper was actually the norm. On the surface, he projected himself to be an upstanding model citizen. In reality, he regularly treated his staff poorly, which is one of the reasons I left. I learned to listen to my instincts and not ignore those red flags in the future.
I became friends with a woman who I worked with at the same business. She was always standoffish but then we came to know each other. She taught me a lot of how to be a better person. I don’t know what happened to her when the business closed down.
That has been many years ago, but sometime I still think about how blessed I am today. Wishing that life was good to my friend.
A friend told me about the mother of one of my daughter’s best friends. She said the woman drank a lot and not to let my daughter associate with her. I did not believe her and sought out this lady to see if what was said about her was true. Yes this lady did have a drink once in a while but not to excess.
I found that we both liked to read and I showed her how to borrow books from her library and eventually on line. I talked her into buying a tablet so she could read that way. This lady was my friend for many years and in that time I found she had a heart of gold. She died two weeks ago and I miss her so much. I am so happy that we did meet and found a friendship that lasted thru the years finding love, sorrow and happiness with each other.
I had a boss who was a young woman. She was a real b—- at work, but I realized it came down from the office manager. She just never found a tactful way to convey displeasure to her employees. Outside of work, she was nice as anything. I heard she did a dance on her desk on her last day of work! Pressure can do a number on you.
people that never knew me say things that was hurtful.I was just kind of backwards and did not like to talk to people I didn’t know.
I’m ashamed to admit that I was jealous of a certain parishioner (Gertie) in my husband’s church (he was a United Methodist Pastor for 35 years at that time) because she was very close to my husband, was chairperson of the pastor-parish committee and very active in all activities of the church at that time. I had been married to my husband only two years at that time and it was a second marriage for me…my trust issues were fragile at the time. Sowieso, I worked with this woman a lot while we were at that church and got to know her very well…and we really became very good friends. So it was not her reputation that had me bothered in the beginning–it was my own past experience with a philandering first husband who ran off with and married a younger woman. I learned a great lesson during my friendship with Gertie…not to pass judgment on another so quickly and to work on my past issues that caused me to have bad judgment. Gertie and I are still good friends and, although we live miles apart, we manage to have a weekend together every year. Thanks for reminding me about changing our minds after a first impression! Very good lesson to learn.
I had a boss when I was young who kept making passes at me. I thought he was a real creep, when I found out he did the same to all the female employees, I thought he was sexually aggressive. One night we were working together and he started crying and told me this story of how he was not sure of his sexual orientation. I began to realize he was just over compensating for his sexual position. he became ny friend and he often talked to me about himself. I encouraged him to confront his feelings. Now he is in a committed relationship and very happy. we continue to be pen pals. I cherish his friendship.
My story is a little different. The stories I heard of this person were all wonderful. At first meeting this seemed to be the case. Then as time went by, it seemed this person was only kind in front of other people and only when they were getting their way. As long is this person was in charge, all was well. Very disappointed in who this person has turned out to be. Very sad lesson to learn.
I think in this age of electronic information it is easy to assume we know someone through what is projected, and fail to understand that what we see is media hype and not the true essence of the person. And as so many have commented, what is real about a person takes time and conversation to uncover. People are so much more than their surface appearance or what is ‘said’ about them. For good, and for ill.
I was once told by someone that when they first met me, they thought I was a stuck up Bitch, but when they got to know me, they realized that I was just quiet and needed to get to know someone a better before I called them a friend.. Of course that was when I was a lot younger. I am not as reserved as I once was.
I met two women on the same night at a work function. One of them was by all appearances outgoing and friendly. I thought she and I would end up great friends. The other seemed a little stuck up and snobby. I really didn’t give her much of a thought after we had spoken for a few minutes. Three years later and the stuck up snobby one is one of my closest friends!and the one that I thought was outgoing and friendly turned out to be more of a recluse who has no interest in making new friends or socializing outside of the workplace. My gut instincts have historically been pretty correct, but this experience taught me to make sure I really get to know someone before I trust my first impression.
Really can’t wait for His Wicked Reputation. I’ve been rereading all the dueling society books. I’m pretty sure I own all your books! Thanks for writing!
I have not actually had a situation as the one described but would like to enter the Giveaway anyway
a friend when I was 18 people said if you were friends with that type of person you were just like them I said they were wrong she was a very good and sweet person
I try and remember that everyone has a story. I love in a small town and when I was 15 and my husband 17 we got married and had a baby (she will be 37 next month). We both came from pretty bad households. Wir haben uns für verheiratet 37 years this month and also have a son who is 28. But people still think of me as the teenager who got pregnant in high school. I’m a good person, wife, mother and grandmother, but some people still see that 15 year old. So I try very hard not to judge people by others opinion.
I worked as a Chaplain at a hospital. I visited a woman who had been in the hospital for some time after surgery. She seemed to look at me with suspicion and it was difficult to get her to talk. I continued to visit her most days. After some time she became more willing to talk. We became friends. Then she shared with me that the drugs she had been on made her hallucinate and she was not certain if I was there or in her imagination. That explained her wariness and why she didn’t want to speak to me. We both worked to get past our first impressions, and both benefited from the friendship.
There was a girl in junior high that I thought was very stuck-up and snobbish. Over a period of a few years, we had classes together and I got to know her. It turned out that she was just painfully shy. I’m glad we became friends.
My daughter’s boyfriend (now of almost 9 yrs.) He’s 6’3″ and has long hair and is 14 Jahre. older than her. Was shocked at first but he is one of the nicest people I know and would do anything for anyone!
A lady whom I thought would help people and friends. When I realized how wrong I was, it happened like this. This lady’s best friend had a stroke at a very young age. She quit going to see her or call her as this lady wanted to go to people that would listen to her MAJOR (not) illnesses.
One of my friends is married to my husband’s friend. Gut, when I first met her I thought she was the biggest hypochondriac I’d ever meet. Not that she didn’t have serious health concerns, because she does, but the impression I had about her was that she overemphasized her conditions so that people would pay attention to her, especially her husband. And then we had a family crisis and she stepped up 110%. She gave me such support and was such a sweetheart and I realized that she doesn’t really know how to interact with people very well. She is now one of my best friends.
Actually, this happened to me. When I was in college I joined a woman’s group at my church where we were assigned ‘secret sisters.’ The woman I got wasn’t a member of the church, but a friend of one. She was probably 25 years older than me, but I enjoyed getting to know her through letters and surprising her with small gifts, and building a friendship. But when we revealed the identities of the secret sisters, she was so taken aback at our age difference that she just ignored me. I was so shocked and hurt.
That experience taught me not to judge someone and to give everyone a chance.
Marcy,
There was nothing you could have done to change the outcome of this situation. Unfortunately some people are so wracked with insecurities, that they cannot imagine that a friendship that crosses age barriers is based on anything other than pity or a joke.
Once they get that in their head…it is stuck.
Keep reaching out and sharing the love!
In high school I often judged fellow classmates without knowing them personally. There was a girl in my gym class whose locker was next to mine. She would come to school everyday in full makeup and not a hair out of place and I immediately judged her to be stuck up and full of herself. After a while we would say hello to everyday and eventually started to have conversations about school, fellow friends and music and found her to be a warm and funny person. We became buddies soon after.
I had a person in my life that I thought was a friend. I called her up one day to ask what she was doing and she said getting ready to call so and so to see what they’re doing. That pretty much ended the friendship. At work we had a new employee that looked a lot like this former friend and I took out my hurt feelings on her, it took me a while to realize that she was nothing like the former friend. She is now a good friend of mine.
i smiled when I read this…and not just because of the great prize. I find that I am sometimes quick to judge and even though my instinct is pretty good, I have been wrong. Most recently, I was one of MANY people who liked a candidate for the top position at my organization. Even once he started, I thought he was great for a couple of months. Slowly, unfortunately, we all realized he was not what he seemed; what his reputation promised. He’s gone now, but it took 2 Jahre.
Back in school, there were a couple of girls that people thought were stuck up, but I found them to be just shy.
When I was in high school there was a girl that my group of friends didn’t like so I didn’t like her either. They said she was stuck up, snooty and full of herself. 24 years later after connecting on Facebook a few years ago and that girl is one of my best friends. It turns out she’s just quiet and a little shy. She likes to look nice and takes pride in her appearance but she is in no way full of herself. I am truly sorry that I listened to my so called friends in high school and missed out on many years of a great friendship.
I once met this guy that was in a motorcycle gang. He was pretty scary, gold ring in his nose, long hair, kind of freaked everyone out the first time I saw him. Once we got to know him better he turned out to be a really nice guy. He was a lawyer of all things. He used to take me riding on his 3 wheeler around Colorado Springs. Garden of the Gods is beautiful on a motorcycle.
This will be my first book.
Having been involved in education as both a teacher and parent, I have found rumors run rampant about both students and teachers. I have always followed the advice that I have given my daughters, “Don’t listen to what others say about teachers, make your own decisions.” The same has followed for me in not listening to what other teachers say about students; I make my own decisions. I have found that most people are good people, and when they are treated with respect and dealt with with no preconceived notions that they respond with respect and lose their preconceived notions. I truly have loved my students and am greeted with warmth when I see them again. Must be this philosophy that has encouraged three of my daughters to become educators also!
I got a position working for a high end cosmetic line at Macy’s and was under the impression that you had to be a perfectionist and look perfect but after meeting the ladies they were not like that at all! 🙂
I can honestly say that I do not judge a book/person by its cover. You never know what will be revealed by taking a chance at getting to know someone. Unfortunately, I’ve been on the receiving end of people’s judgmental ways before. For example:
I was attacked in high school when we had a substitute teacher that didn’t know to keep certain people apart. Because, of her separating a pair of boys that were near me, one of the boys got rowdy and accused me of starting the situation. I never talked to any of them, always kept to myself and did my work. He finally disrupted the class enough the teacher told him to go to the principal’s office. He called her a few choice words and proceeded to act like he was going to leave the classroom, next thing I knew there was a scorching hot pain radiating through the back of my head and neck. He attacked me with a sack of hard candies and other items. When I removed my hand from my head there was blood! First thing I saw was red, and I mean I went nuts! Cornered the boy until I heard the principal call my name. It was the he picked me up, when I was distracted and threw me over a desk. My knee buckled and snapped. The boy, which I wasn’t one of the students to follow school sports, was apparently the top wrestler for our school and didn’t like being cornered by a girl. Gut, after that apparently a rumor started through the girls that I had a bad attitude and would attack anyone. Natürlich, nobody took into account that not one person tried to help me when I did nothing wrong to this boy! I found this out when I went into one of the girls bathrooms and heard a girl whispering to her friend to hurry up, because I might attack them. Of course me being me, I came out of the stall I was in and said, just out of curiosity are you talking about me? I don’t know where you came up with the idea, but just to let you know, I only ever defend myself. I’m usually one of the nicest people to talk to, so maybe you’d like to pass judgment after talking for a while or hanging out. Unnötig zu sagen,, they were friends after that. The only messed up thing about the whole situation, was the substitute refused to tell what the boy called her and the school covered it up, because he was a star athlete!
When I first met my husband, he was very shy and hardly said a word. Everyone we knew in our running club said we’d be perfect for each other. But our first date was a dud. I did all the talking, and he merely nodded. Jedoch, I was willing to give it another shot, so we went on a second date. He talked a little more, and I started to see what everyone had been talking about. Ja, he was perfect for me! 20 Jahre später, I’m still doing most of the talking. Aber, he’s my quiet hero!
I can’t really say that I can remember basing a first impression about someone because of their reputation. I don’t listen to other people’s opinions or gossip about people and I am very good at knowing within the first few minutes of meeting someone if I like them or not. Jedoch, most girls in school would tell me that they didn’t like me for a long time because they thought I was stuck up when in reality I was always very shy and it was hard for me to initiate conversations.
My fiancé/husband. (We’ve been together for 10 Jahre!) I met him at a hospital we both worked at. I remember the first day I started and the girl that was training me warned me about him. She told me to watch out for him he’s a dog…usw.. My first though was “challenge accepted”! My curiosity was peaked, but it turned out to be an instant mutual attraction. We became fast friends and both realized and admitted at the same time how much we both had fallen in love with the other. He is the most confident, funny, hardworking, thoughtful, generous man that I have ever met. And even better he is an amazing father to our 6 year old and me 13 year old. I think it says a lot when a teenage girl looks up to her stepfather so much. I struck gold with him regardless of what someone tried making his reputation out to be. XOXOX
I have a dear friend now, whom I unfortunately had the wrong opinion of in the beginning. So glad I waited and realized what a gem she is and how wrong I was.
When I was in elementary school, I was friends with a girl that lived three houses down. I moved away abd went to a different school, but we wound up going back to the sane high school. I was the type of person that was “perfect”. Good grades, always did exactly what was expected, was considered the “good girl”. She was considered the “wild child”, didn’t care about school, or doing the right thing. She was my complete opposite and I wasn’t interested in being friend again. Jedoch, we wound up being in a group together in a mutual class spent quite a bit of time together again. We got to know each other again and, while her reputation would have normally kept me away, we somehow became good friends again. It’s now 25 years later and we’re still best friends.
Twenty some years ago, I was working for a major hotel corporation. I transferred to another hotel property in another country. As the new employee, I was given a tour of the facilities and met the other management staff. When I met “Irene,” the executive housekeeper, she was brusque, sarcastic and not welcoming (in my opinion).
After a few weeks, we became friends. Tatsächlich,within a few months she became my best friend while I worked there. That was a HUGE surprise to me (based on my first interaction with her).
A former coworker used to complain about another of our coworkers with whom I never had any interactions. She said that he was incompetent, refused to take advice or direction, usw.. He left the firm for a while and when he was rehired, I was nervous because now I’d be working with him. It turned out that none of the things she told me were true. (Of course I also learned over time that she never had a good word to say about anyone, including me!)
My story is a bit different. The mother of a girl at our high school named Naomi rented a garage apartment in back of a house owned by the parents of another girl from our high school named Dorothy. Dorothy was crazy about a guy who happened to like me. I became acquainted with Naomi at church and after we had become very good friends, Naomi confided in me the fact that Dorothy had told her over and over that she would not like me and she had been surprised at how much she did like me after getting to really know me. The guy mentioned is now my husband and Naomi and I are the very best of friends to this day. I do not know what happened to Dorothy.
Met him and formed a dislike. Wound up in love and married him. That was almost 54 vor Jahren.
As a student I was constantly told of one teacher that ‘everybody hated’. He was known for being mean and assigning way too much homework. I dreaded the time when I’d have to sign up for his class. But when I was finally in it I could only wonder what everybody was talking about – he was tough, absolutely, but I found him to be very funny and an excellent teacher. Since then I always decided to wait and make up my own mind instead of listening to hearsay.
My -I-L lost his wife of over 50 years in 2007. in 2008 he started dating a woman 12 years younger than him whom he met on-line.She was from an adjacent state around 4 hours away. Over the years they were in frequent contact. As she worked they only got together a few times a year. She wanted to quit her job and move in with my F-I-L.
Over the years she has been very unfriendly towards all of our family members. We thought she was a gold digger. She moved in. it will be 2 years in June. She still isn’t the friendliest but I think she’s just a quiet person. She seems to care for and love my F-I-L. We’ll see as he now has some serious heath issues to deal with.
It took quite a while for me to meet my neighbors. I thought they were kind of reclusive, although I did see them walking their dog. They probably thought the same of me. Schließlich, my dog and theirs became buddies and now we try to visit each other as often as we can. They turned out to be really nice people, and she loves to read, so I can share books with her. We also both like to garden, so there’s always some kind of produce being passed around. I guess the dogs knew we would get along, even if we weren’t sure!
I was brought up to believe everyone deserved a chance and most people were good at heart (but as my mom says, sometimes you just have to look really deep to find the good). When I was in High School there was a guy that everyone pretty much told me to stay away from he was bad news (which I thought was weird because he was extremely good looking and always seemed so polite). The guy worn tattered clothes and never attended any of the school events and basically didn’t fit in. But being new to the school, instead of looking for the good, I just went along with the crowd. One Saturday when I was shopping with my mother I saw him and a younger boy in Wal-Mart. As usual he was very polite – acknowledging me and my mother and introducing us to his younger brother. I was a bit cold to him and after he left my mother asked me about it. I told her I didn’t know much about him but that the kids as school said he was bad news and to stay away from him. In her usual way, she said “Did you stop and look for the good”? I said no. She asked did I notice his little brother? I said not really why? His little brother had downs syndrome and I didn’t even notice it, I felt really bad that I hadn’t paid that much attention. Come to find out mom knew the family from her work. She told me that the family didn’t have much because they put everything into making sure the little boy had the best possible care and if I had stopped to look for the good perhaps I would know the young man in my class just might need a friend. The next day I made it a point to find him and say hello. I asked him if he’d like to come over after school and maybe stay for dinner the next night if his parents would let him. He took my number and said he’d let me know. I totally misjudged the guy based on my friends at school opinions. He turned out to be my best friend, he got a scholarship to college and we went through college together and we are still super close to this day. We haven’t married yet but I girl can dream.
I always look forward to the next Madeline Hunter book and this one sounds really good. Pre-ordering now!
I met a guy online and we decided to meet in person. He seemed to me too self-centered. But he was curious about different cultures, yet very cautious about anything foreign. I was not sure of what to think of him. But after I left the US back to my country for 2 Jahre, he kept waiting for me, called and wrote.
We’ve been married for over 7 years now and I do not think he is self centered at all!
when I was in the 5th grade I knew I didn’t want Ms. Comstock as my 6th grade teacher. I heard stories from other kids about how mean she was as a teacher. Come the end of the school year the classroom assignments were posted. You guessed it, i got Ms. Comstock! I begged my mother to have the school change my classroom and she wouldn’t do it. By the end of my 6th grade year i was very glad that she didn’t. She became one of my most favorite teachers of all time! I forgot to mention that this was at a military school in Germany. Ms Comstock was single and would spend summers and holidays traveling all over Europe and even to Egypt and Russia. We studied geography that year and she would bring her slides in from her travels to share with us. She made learning interesting and I know my love of travel can in part be attributed to Ms. Comstock.
My current fiance. We’ve known each other since we were in elementary school. Growing up in the same small town meant that a lot of your impressions of others was based off of who they were when they were younger. It was hard to separate my idea of him through the lens of classmates and who he really was. Schließlich, after avoiding him for so long, I gave in and we went out- after that I realized how different he was from who I thought he was. We’ve been inseparable ever since.
I thought I had met someone that would be a great friend, but after a while I found that he was not only trying to buy friendship, but talking about me behind my back. I wish it had turned out better.
In high school, I was in an AP Calculus class, and on the first day I was surprised to see a member of the football team in the room. In previous classes, I had noticed that he was a goofball, but upon working with him in Calculus, I realized that being a goofball didn’t preclude him from being in an AP class. It is so important to remember the saying “don’t judge a book by it’s cover.”
I hated my second husband on sight because he was with my ex husband and I figured he was like him. When he saw me it was love at first sight and he did everything he could to change my mind after dumping my ex for a friend. Since we’ve been married 23 years it must have worked.
I met a man online almost four years ago, whom I thought was a player–everyone thought he was a player. He had hundreds of beautiful women as friends, and a girlfriend at the time he friended me. We never spoke in private, just the customary polite good morning, usw., on his public page. Then one night, his post were different. I could tell he was upset and needed to talk to someone, so I messaged him. He told me he just broke up with his girlfriend, how poorly and disrespectfully she had treated them both, and that he was done with dating. I just listened, and when asked for advice, told him he learned to be friends with women first, before beginning a new relationship.
We talked over a month or two online and on the phone, strictly as friends, something he had never done before. We actually were becoming best friends. We could tell each other things we could not talk to anyone else about without feeling judged or having our feelings hurt. He was NOTHING like everyone thought he was–he was tough on the outside, but a teddy bear on the inside towards to woman he loved.
After a few months, since we only lived less than thirty minutes from each other, we decided to met up at a local diner for a lunch that ended up turning into three hours of non-stop talking. Mind you, we NEVER talked about sex, we never once hit on each other–we were best friends now.
The funny thing is, that from the moment we both saw each other for the first time that day, new feelings arose, and we both felt a deeper connection. We did not want to leave each other’s side. We knew we were soul-mates and meant to be together, but decided to take it slow, stay friends, and let whatever happen in our friend relationship happen naturally–unrushed and with a few rules. We decided that no matter what we were feeling, there would be NO sex or “fooling around” (holding hands would be okay) for at least the first six months, and after that time frame, if it happened, it would be okay, because it was meant to be, not “expected” to happen. THAT would be the time we would officially be more than best friends, we would also be a monogamous couple, and each other’s only lovers.. Just the two of us.There would be no dating other people or flirting with anyone else. We stood out in the rain talking in parking lot while it was pouring rain, not wanting to leave each other. After we were both soaking wet, we gave each other a hug, but did not want to let go. It started lightening, and we knew it was time to part.
Once day, while we were out hunting, I said I felt like a giant oompa lumpa in my over-sized hunting clothes, and he casually said, “I love my oompa loompa.” His son and I both looked at each other, because we realized he just admitted he fell in love with me, but it was so relaxed and natural, that he had not realized he had just told me he loved me. Both his son and I just ignored it and kept walking. Then, a week later, he did it again. We were doing “friend” stuff, like shopping or whatever, and he said, “That is why I love you. You make me laugh and I can be myself with you, you are the other part of me my friend.” After this second admission of love, I was conflicted, because I was in love with him as well, but never said anything. So, I had to once and for all clarify what he meant when he said he loved me. He stopped dead in his tracks, turned around, gently grabbed my face, and said, “I never realized what REAL love was until you came into my life. The love of a friend, the love of a woman that treats my family with respect, and as if they were her family, too. I guess I don’t just love you as a friend, but I am truly, madly, deeply in love with you in all ways. We belong together.” and then he kissed me, right there in the refrigerated vegetable section. Things have never been the same since, We met at our lowest points during both of our lives, and four years later, we are still together, living with each other, and engaged to be married. My children call him Dad and his son calls me mom. I now have a sweet granddaughter by my finace’s son and a daughter-in-law. We truly are the other half of each other. If I hurt on the right side, hurts on the left. We feel each other’s feelings. We cannot bare to be apart. He even calls me less than five minutes after he leaves the house (every time) to tell me he loves me. He tells me he loves me and shows it so any times a day, I loose count. lol Despite me being disabled, he LOVES to take care of me, even when HE is sick, and I try to take care of him. Ich bin wirklich gesegnet, as God has sent me my own personal angel and saved the best man for me for last. He sent me the man that I am supposed to live out the rest of my life with, until our last dying breaths. He truly is the love of my life, and even though most people had stereotyped him as a player, I got to know him, finding out he is the most compassionate, loving, loyal, dependable, protective man I ave ever met. He truly IS the type of man that would die for his woman. He puts me first, even when he shouldn’t. He is just a blessing in every sense of the word and meaning. Auch, being a hot, younger, sexy Italian Stallion doesn’t hurt, either! LOL We have spent almost every day together for the past four years, and I really do not think either of us would know what to do without the other one. Life would have no sparkle, no color, no love…
I’m so happy for you. Reading your response has made me cry. Thank you for your inspirational story. You have described what I feel for my fiance, too. The other half of my soul. We met online through a friend of his who just happens to be female. She was seeing a guy I had met online. The guy told me all my fiance would do was drink beer all day long. So I was very leery about talking to him at first. It turned out yes he did drink but not to excess. He loves his daughters and it was this that helped me to fall in love with him. Plus, he loves my daughter like she is his own flesh and blood. Like your guy he takes care of me even when he is sick himself. Congratulations on finding your soulmate!!
A new coworker I was trainin, when I would offer feedback, he would appear to brush it off as if he didn’t care what I said. Once I got to know him, I realize he was a bit insecure and his blase attitude was his way of an internal reprimmand, so to speak. He turned out to be a good friend and great coworker.
I knew a girl who went with a guy for 2 1/2 Jahre.
Everyone thought they had sex together, cuz that was their reputation. She hadn’t with him or anyone else, and wanted to keep it that way til she married.
I used to watch my brother play in tournaments and would always see this one guy at all of the tournaments. He was a great player but just seemed so arrogant and cocky. By chance, we had to work together at an event and I learned that he had a really tough upbringing and it wasn’t cockiness on the courts but more of the fact that he really had a lot on the line and it was more of a way for him to show confidence.
It was a friend of a friend. I never hung out with this person and had formed a bad opinion of them, but when we finally hung out they were really nice and actually a cool person. I learned not to judge someone since then.
I have people making quick judgements of me based on my weight, never taking the time to know me. It’s very hurtful. So when I found myself doing the same for a married couple at church who were mentally challenged I made the decision to give them a chance. I found they were a nice couple and was glad I got to know them.
The last doctor’s office I worked. Really thought it was a great place to work…family oriented, friendly & very knowledgeable doctor. Yeah, not quite…doctor was a drunk & the office manager was bat shit crazy (nicknames included Psycho Susan, Bonkers Betty, Haley Hitler…).
When I was in high school, I was always a loner type person and never really had very many friends. There was this one person that was kind of like I was, so I tried my best to befriend her and I finally did. The reputation that she had was one of the worst ones possible, that she will sleep with anyone, does all kinds of bad things and several other issues with her that I would rather not say. After we got to talking to each other, I found out that what has been going around about her was not even close to being true. Her name is Karen and she ended up being my best friend for almost 15 years and even moved in with me as my roommate.
Just cuz people talk bad about people and spread rumors about someone else, they are usually not true. You have to follow your heart, it will never lead you astray. For some reason if it does lead you astray, then you are not listening to your heart with an open mind and you will not get what your heart really wants. You will know if you have listened to your heart correctly just by how the situation turns out.
ALWAYS LISTEN TO YOUR HEART, IT WILL NEVER LEAD YOU ASTRAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I had always gone for the bad boy when it came to love. When I first met my husband he was good looking but had a reputation for being a good two shoes. I was not at all interested. He continued to pursue me, asking me out, sending me flowers. Until one day I was really bored and decided to give him a chance. Little did I know that he was just what I was looking for, and he wasnt anything like i had heard.
In college, during orientation, a strangely dressed young lady joined our group. She was quiet, moody, and distant. Her combat boots, fishnets, and crop top certainly made her look different. It was hard to see under the harsh makeup. The girl next to me whispered- I wonder who her roommate will be. You guessed it! It was me! I soon found that my first impressions had been wrong. My roommate to be very open, and brilliant. She had come from an affluent family, and just wanted to be different. She helped me through a very difficult semester, was kind, and patient.
After working for many, many months shorthanded, I was elated when my employer finally hired someone. She was intelligent, took notes as I trained her and asked really good questions. She volunteered to do extra tasks and always had an open, happy disposition. Then little by little, I realized that her open, happy disposition masked a secretive, manipulative personality. She was able to convince you that she was your best friend while throwing you under the bus over and over. She stirred up strife in our office and kept people at odds with her innocent remarks. As elated as I was when she was hired, I was even more elated when she left. It meant more work for me but it also meant a congenial workplace where we got along and got our work done. It was amazing how peaceful it was after our open, happy co-worker left. This experience taught me again that “sugar and spice and everything nice” can be deceptive.
Someone I work with had this great reputation of being a successful business person and just a great girl (all stuff that i’ve heard from her clients). I was first one of her clients and then later worked for her company and while I agree that she is a successful person, she is not a great friend as she is quick to throw people under the bus.
When I moved and changed schools in the third grade, I found that since I had moved to a small town all the kids already knew everyone else. I remember several kids, that seemed to be the “popular” kids of the class, telling me that I should stay clear of one of the other girls in our class. They told me she was mean and weird. I was new, so I had no idea if they were right or not, so I didn’t talk to that girl. Gut, by the next year, I had talked to her, and we became best friends instantly. We remained best friends for 11 Jahre.
I was told by a “friend” my now fiance was a heavy drinker. It turned out he wasn’t. Meine “friend” didn’t want me meeting a new guy but wanted me for himself. I didn’t want him. I’m glad I didn’t listen to gossip. We have been together for 3 years when March 2nd arrives.
Gossip can be so false. I’ve seen this several times where the real person was totally different then their reputation.
In college, I introduced myself to a French exchange student because I planned to go to his school the following year. Other girls warned me that he was annoying. He was annoying; but also kind and loving! Six years later, we were married. März 10 will be our 31 anniversity.
Hanging out with friends I met this cute guy. My best friend and I both liked him but everyone said that he was a player. We both decided not to get involved with him. He wound up developing a crush on me and asking me out. I wasn’t going to do it but I said yes anyway. (Thinking that I would go out with him once because he was cute) I was determined not to fall for him! I did. Ten months later we were married! Oktober 23, 2014 we celebrated our 21st anniversary! (With our 2 Söhne, ages 18 & 14) I would love to win the kindle to give our son for his 15 birthday! Good luck to everyone!
I was being introduced to an “in-law”, and he was full of tattoo’s and a long beard. Unfortunately, I made that first impression in my head. I was thinking “Oh my gosh, he looks like a biker!”. Little did I know this man is a teddy bear! Thank God he had the chance to prove me wrong! I can’t imagine if I didn’t have the chance to ever talk to him, I would have probably kept thinking my ignorant thoughts! I have since thought a lot about that, and how many times in my life I have done this. It makes me step back and take a second to actually get to know someone! NEVER judge a book by its cover!
I don’t form impressions based on reputation
My boss brought me a trainee. He told me she’s a retired teacher, she’s smart, you won’t have any problem with her. Yeah right, the first trainer I put her with gave her back after the first day. You couldn’t tell her how to do anything because she already knew it all. She quickly turned into the biggest pain in my butt in all my years with the company. The good thing was, she never made it to full time in my area, so we only got stuck with her when too many people were out and they worked through the list of people ahead of her.
I try not to do it because its happened to me alot and I know how it feels. I have anxiety, so I avoid conversations and people. That can come off as snobby and rude, usw.. so thats what alot of people thought of me.
Unless you actually try to get to know someone personally you will never know the depths of whats inside.
I used to have a boss that was extremely chauvinistic but had not worked much with him as I was on a late shift. When they took that shift away and I went to an earlier shift I had to work with him. Found out he was a chauvinist, but one day I had had enough of his snide condesending comments so I threw one back at him. From that point on it seemed he respected me a whole lot more and the snide condesending comments became few and far between because he knew when he gave me one I could and would throw it right back at him. We got along just fine after that. LOL But it did prove to me that its all in how you react and handle situations & people that matter most. 😀
When I started a job back in the 80’s at a utility company I came in as a temp – the only way to get a foot in the door back then. Everyone was nice except for one lady who took an instant dislike to me. As we both continued working sometimes in the same department, sometimes not. She started to transfer to the same department I was hired for – like she was following me. Eventually we came to understand one another, and developed a respectful friendship so that we actually took a vacation together across the country. To this day we often joke about how much we disliked each other back in the day , and she has become one of my dearest friends. So much so that I was the only person invited to take part in the ceremony where she took her vows as a nun!
I met this guy who I thought was cocky and annoying. I was wrong we have been married for 10 Jahre. He is the best husband and father. I’m glad I was wrong.
I’m a pretty good judge of character so I haven’t misread anyone’s personality. My husband has worked with a few guys that it turns out we’re going th rough times and it was showing through by their actions.
It’s a good sign when I go to add your book to my wish list and Amazon tells me it’s already there!
Reputations is always a two way street…
Hi!
I’m very careful when I get to know people. I take my time and go with my gut which is usually correct 🙂 btw, I love the cover of your book!
I’m intrigued.
I can’t recall a specific situation right now. But a lot of times people will tell me something about someone and I just respond and tell them I am a big girl and I’ll make up my own mind.
I was new in the area and worked in a diet clinic. One day a woman(let’s call her Mary_ comes in for some treatment. Looking at her chart I realized that she lived in my neighborhood. We got to talking and realized we had children the same age. We met a few times for play date. She lived in the neighborhood longer than me and would tell me about the neighbors. One particular neighbor (let’s call her Amy) was said to have wild parties and be a “Swinger”. Of course I stayed as far away from this person as possible and kept my children away from hers. One day in walks the “Swinger” to the diet clinic. My first thought was “OMG, wait til I tell Mary”. By the time Amy’s appointment was over I decided I really liked her. We became close friends. One day I told her about Mary’s accusations. She was hurt, yet not surprised. I have been in the neighborhood for 10 Seit Jahren. Amy is liked by nearly everyone I know. Mary is one of those people that is hard to love because she keeps getting in her own way. Funny how things turn out.
On my first day of teaching ever, I saw a young man dripping with chains, black lipstick, and bright red hair sticking out of his head in long spikes. Appalled and aghast, my first thought was that I hope he did not appear in any class I ever had knowing he would bring a gun to school. When my first class started coming in the door, who should be there but Mr. Chain Gang. I went on to discover that he was one of the most creative and innovative students I ever had. Further, he has excelled at his creativity and was one of the most sensitive and well liked students ever. I learned my lesson about forming first impressions.
When I first started working for the company I only knew my now boss from what I had heard and speaking to him over the phone. I now have worked for him for almost 15 years and he is not at all like I was had at first thought. Very good boss and very easy to work for. I have learned to always give someone a chance before deciding how you think they are.
I am sure we all have a story like this dating back to high school but during freshman year there was a girl that me and the bestie were annoyed with because she was more outgoing, pretty, usw.. My friend and I of course decided to create several inside jokes about her (uwe didn’t want to assassinate her character publicly no we just wanted to enjoy our little jokes in private). One particular jibe we enjoyed was “knuckle nose” given that the bridge of her nose uncannily resembled a knuckle. She unfortunately got hold of a note one day I was passing to my bestie and figured out she was knuckle nose and I felt horrible. I apologized profusely and then some. I guess the magic of time (add a bit of maturity in the mix) really does heal because throughout the remainder of our high school years we became good friends. Years later I’m friends with her on Facebook and get to see pics of her beautiful children and can only hope that she can laugh as she tells the the story of the wretched “mean girls” from schools.
My take on this is somewhat different: I was the one with the reputation. My father was in the Air Force; I usually spent only a year at each school I attended. The difficulty came when our base was not large enough for its own school–then we had to attend school in the closest town.
We service kids were just like any other bunch of kids when alone on our blue school bus, with our own cliques and attitudes, everyone knowing the score, but put with Townies we perceived ourselves as having a veneer courtesy of our superior worldly view (this was before plane travel became common—Townies had never been anywhere ).
Part of our snobbery, Natürlich, was the result of constant uprooting combined with whatever insecurities came naturally with our ages at the time. A protection mechanism. And we did think we were so special with our blue buses!
Gradually, as I became more comfortable and the initial period of staring-at-the-new-kid-in-school passed I would lower my nose sufficiently to make friends among the Townies. We would arrange sleepovers, etc., experiences that furthered my knowledge of the world (one friend lived on a dairy farm—quite a revelation for me when we drove to pick her up: the smells, the sounds, the very large animals, oh, meine!). They would be amazed I’d never seen a farm close up, or skated on a frozen pond, or…cracking my veneer to shards.
My Townie friends peppered me with questions which I would proudly answer, and I in turn would privately pity them for living in the same place their entire lives. I had been to how many states & countries? A constantly updated number I marked carefully on my map.
I did miss my Townies when next we moved. And to this day I Google some of their names, wondering if they ever got to see the world or remained in their small part of it, happy with their lot, as am I. And wondering if they ever thought of me after the blue bus rolled for the last time.
For several years I belonged to a volunteer group in which individuals – designated Project Leaders – would be responsible for organizing and leading work projects. On a couple of occasions a current Project Leader would recommend another volunteer to be a Leader, but after seeing the recommended person in action, it was apparent that the person who recommended him/her did it on the basis of personal affinity and not the actual knowledge and skills required to be a Project Leader.
I was working with a woman who was very opinionated and brusque and had a strained relationship with others in the office, but as I got to know her I found a kind heart and intelligent friend and she and I have remained in touch much longer than those more seemingly affable co-workers.
Wow. Good question. I think the best example in my life is of my husband. We went to the same schools from 7th-12th grades. I knew who he was and thought he was a bully due to his reputation, but never had any interaction with him….until – In 12th grade, his cousin was my locker partner. He expressed interest and she helped him ask me out. We have been together ever since (that was Sept 18, 1990). I found out he looked tough, played football, but is kind of a big teddy bear. Sweet as can be inside. We are married with 3 great kids.
When I was in still in school there was a student that everyone made fun of and even harassed (today it would be called bullying)even the teachers. While I never made fun of him, I am ashamed to say I never stood up for him or bothered to try to befriend him. In our senior year, we were both stuck waiting for rides home and I had my first conversation with him. He was actually a really nice person who didn’t deserve any of the torment that he received.
Newly hired to run a non-profit my first impression of one staffer was combative, defensive and difficult…no matter that she is also brilliant, articulate and renowned in the industry. Her impression of me was bean counter intent on making her life difficult, unlike her best friend who ran the organization for a decade. We battled along those lines for a year until I fired her. The board intervened, gave orders to learn to get along because neither of us was going anywhere. A decade later neither of us work for the group and we’re best friends too. Her brilliance helped make my home gorgeous and my organizational skills save her from IT headaches…Best gift that job delivered!
Als ich im College war,, I met a girl that was very beautiful. Everyone said that she was stuck on herself, but I soon found out that she was very nice. We became friends and later roommates. She told me that every one of her friends originally didn’t like her.
I met a man at work who I thought was good looking, but it seemed he would be ignoring me or when he did have to talk he was short and say as little as possible. Finally I had enough and told him to stop being an ass. He looked at me and said he was. After that he started talking and now we are married with kids
I try not to listen to gossip about people, but to form my own opinions because so many times throughout my life, both personally and professionally, I have found people to be nothing like their “reputations” and rumors made them out to be. I would have missed out on some great friends and been sucked into some toxic relationships if I hadn’t made my own judgments and decisions abouts people.
There have been so many times as a teacher that I dreaded getting a student in class based solely on what other teachers had told me about them. Fortunately, most of the time, I discovered that these kids were fine for me. Don’t know if it was the subject or personality conflicts but I’ve found after 30 years that if you act like you expect them to be a problem, that is what you’ll get. I always try to start the year expressing my excitement for having each student in class. I try to give them the same respect I feel I deserve. The majority of the time that has worked.
I once worked for someone who projected a caring, confident demeanor. She bragged to others about her fabulous professional team. She was wanted to prove herself in the organization and did it be belittling and berating her “team” over their work. Nothing was ever good enough. She screamed at us during staff meetings. Within months, the entire staff left. When I interviewed for another job in the organization, she begged me to stay, making all kinds of promises. When I later earned a transfer, she tried to block it. She was full of pretty words, but they were false.
Once I was told not to associate and be friends with a new girl in town as she was a backstabber than be a friend. Got to know her later in my life and regretted listening to other people as she was the nicest person and became a great friend who supported me in so many ways.
I am 75 years old and learned a longtime ago you can never judge a person until you walk in there shoes first and then you will find that no matter what is said you will always find something good so you do not hurt that person but lift them up.
Don’t gossip it can only hurt you in the end.
My family always told me not to judge a book by it’s cover. I have always tried to live by that rule. I was shy in school. I had only a handful of people who knew the “real me.” My daughter is the same way.I would rather have my nose in a book or be outside wandering around & taking pictures, or doing something creative. Not everything is as it seems. Be nice to people and usually they will be nice to you.:) I hope everyone has a great day!
In Jr high, I didn’t like a girl because she had a bad reputation of being a fighter and hanging with all of the guys. I also didn’t like her best friend just because they were friends. Once we got into high school, I had a few classes with the first girl and we had mutual friends. For two years we were best friends and inseparable. After that, I was best friends with the second girl. We are still friends today, 20+ Jahre später. After I took the time to get to know them, I found out most of the gossip about them were lies. I’m grateful I had them both in my life.
A couple in church was very nice but homely looking. They were the least romantic couple you could imagine. I found out that they had a regular Friday date night. I learned that being romantic has nothing to do with your looks but the love you have in your heart for each other.
Start new job did not know anyone now how it is have to make friends with new people. With some people you get a strange feel about and some you just click with. It just take time to see if you pick the right people because so put on different faces and until get to know them to see if you were right about them so turn out to surprise you. so I have been right about most people.
I know that there have been many instances through the years when I have misjudged someone after meeting them and many when I have been misjudged. But for the life of me I cannot think of a single instance right now. I think they call it “Brain Drain”.
i had a co-worker who came across as snobby and a know-it-all to everyone. she kept to herself and didn’t make any attempt to get to know the rest of us. i was pretty sure she was shy and decided to try and befriend her. it took 6 long months of taking breaks and lunches at the same time she did and bombarding her with mindless chatter, but eventually it worked and she turned out to be one of the nicest people on the planet!!
I have a boss who is the best, but when I first started I was told she was loud, mean and not friendly to anyone so I stayed away from her as much as possible. I found out that she was told the same thing about me ! Now we are a team and I was going to retire this year and she begged me to stay another year, she said that she didn’t think she wanted to deal with all the BS without my help, so I agreed to stay one more year only. She is more friendly and outgoing with the rest of the staff now that she has someone helping her and not working against her.
I was hired as the new manager of retail clothing store that was in some difficulties. I was told that both of the assistant managers were great and would help me learn everything I needed for this new position and new company. Wrong! To my face, they were both nice and helpful. Mittlerweile, they were stabbing me in the back. I hadn’t been there two weeks when I found out one of them was complaining about me to someone else. The other one was more subtle which was worse. I found out later that they thought one of them should have gotten the position so they did their best to push me out. Unfortunately, it worked. I only lasted 6 Monate. I found out recently that both of them have been fired, so I feel a bit vindicated (even though that’s not very nice of me).
Back in my middle school camp counseling days, I was given a room of 8th grade girls who I knew about only by reputation (which wasn’t great). I was fairly strict with them for the first few days as a result. Jedoch, as the week went on, I started to see them in a different light, and to get to know them individually instead as part of a clique and my feelings changed. I ended up really enjoying my time with that group, and have stayed in touch with several of them over these past 8 Jahre.
One of my husbands friends was very cocky and seemed to think a lot of himself. Turns out, he was a very sweet guy once you got to know him
Before I started a job a ton of women warned me about a lady I would be working with – they said all sorts of bad things about her. It turns out she is a very kind lady who just happens to be very shy and introverted and took her job very seriously.
A few years ago at a seminar, I met a woman who is a model and I Immediately concluded that she was shallow, materialistic and not interested in connecting with “average” people. Fortunately for me, this woman approached me and we started a conversation that has been going on for over five years. I feel very fortunate that she shattered my falsely held image re beautiful people.
I had some customers who everyone I worked with thought were really strange because of how they dressed. I got to know them and found out they dressed that way because it was comfortable and that they were really great people. They became good friends of mine.
I have learned not to judge a book by it’s cover, thus I try to learn about a person and form my own opinion.
I work at a college and a lot of the students think “they know everything”!! They seem to talk down to you if you don’t have a college degree. Then along comes one and treats you with respect. Since that time, we have become fast friends and it’s been years now that we have been friends!!
I started a new job and was slightly horrified to find out my “neighbor” in the adjoining cube cursed like a sailor and was incredibly loud. After a few months of getting to know him we became good friends and frequently go to lunch together. You just never know who someone really is based on a first impression.
It was actually my boyfriend. I have known him since high school. I thought he was a real trouble maker. Getting in fights and I thought he was so mean and scary. His reputation was as a very tough guy. But I got to know him and he turned out so sweet and I love him so much.
When I first started my current job as city clerk we had one officer who had the reputation of having the personality of cold fish. After working with him for sometime and his becoming chief of police I found that he had great sense of humor and also that we were the same age although he considered me the old one as I was whole 5 months older than him. This lead to many yearly pranks on our birthdays. He has since retired, but since this is a small town the ribbing continues on only less often.
I think that happens quite often in situations today; especially given the way some of the population choose to present him or herself. I am in a current situation at work now. We have a young man who just came on board; everyone thinks he wouldn’t fit with the team. He is doing a splendid job!
I got suck with the new kid at school as my Chemistry partner-I was very upset. Later I married him. Eleven years later I divorced him…I was right the first time.
Many years ago when my sons were still in school,the oldest son became friends with a boy in class.The boys wanted us mothers to meet. At first the other mom looked a little standoffish and not very friendly.It turned out that she was a very friendly person and we became friends from that day on.Our sons were in the 3rd grade now they are 23yrs old.
When I was in school there was a girl in my class who had a reputation as a “bad girl”. We ended up being partnered for a project and we spent quite a bit of after school hours together. Turned out she wasn’t anything like her reputation and she was a very nice person. I’m glad that I had the opportunity to get to know her better.
In my 2nd year at UC Berkeley, as a political science major you were required to take polo sci 2 with Professor J. (Won’t say his whole name because I promised wouldn’t ruin his rep.) Before I took the class everyone talked about how mean he was. I believed them because on the first day he told us do not be late, do not sleep in my class, do not read the daily Californian(our school newspaper), and do not yawn. The next class someone was late and he stopped lecturing to reprimand her. I decided to speak to him one day and he was so nice. I told him that he was nice and he said to not tell anyone else because it would ruin his rep. I enjoyed that class immensely.
In high school there was a girl who I heard all sorts of things about and I chose not to hang around her cause I thought she was so different from me. I was and am a goody goody girl. Fast 30 yrs later and we are still best friends. Event though we are so different. Learned there was another side to her that wasn’t apparent at a glance.
When I met my husband he was really a bad boy. After getting to know his best friend, I got to know him and 43 years later we are still married.
I work with a woman who most people are afraid to talk to, but in reality she is a big softy. She would give you the shirt off her back, but because of her scowl people think she is mean and avoid her like the plague. Not judging a book by it’s cover is always the best, I am an avid reader and learn when I was very young to never make a decision based on looks, but on character.
My ex-husband Charles. When we first met, he was a helper in the computer lab and I was taking computer courses. I didn’t realize it at the time, but the software we were using was obsolete and only the teacher knew it well. I was trying to get help from the lab squad (specifically Charles) and no one knew anything. It was horrible to deal with and I blew up when my lab partner started crying because no one could help us. After the situation was explained tome, I apologized and invited him out for coffee. We started seeing each other quickly after that.
When my kids were young I met a mom through PTA. She wasn’t very talkative and I just thought she didn’t like me. Well it ended up she was just very shy and now we are best friends 15 Jahre später!
I met my husband through as a blind date. Our mutual friends asked him if he was still drinking and his response was “Only when I’m alone or with someone.” I was so nervous to date someone that drank like that and distrusted him but as we continued to date I found out he was not a heavy drinker at all! Here we are 23 years later and he still only drinks occasionally, when he is alone or with someone! LOL!
I really don’t have a brilliant story to tell you. I actually am a good judge of character, and tend to give people a chance. I seem to be able to pick up on evil people and situations, and it’s a blessing. I think it has saved my life more than once. I may have given a few people more credit than they deserve, and they have let me down. Thanks for this opportunity, and congrats on your new book.
I met a woman at work who most people were unimpressed by. She tended to look at things differently than most and you needed to pay close attention to see where she was coming from. She made a great effort to get to know people and be friendly . She came to be a great friend,supportive and honest. I am lucky to have her as a friend and I’m grateful she put effort into our relationship and that I was able to open my eyes and look at her for who she was and not be blinded by my first impressions.f
The person I judged on first impressions is now my Brother-in-law. He had a very bad reputation and had been in trouble with the law. I was told many bad things by his own family! I disliked him right away. I was very wrong. He is a good person at heart, just not very good at making the right decisions. He has since moved away from the troublesome people he was friends with and has done very well for himself. It taught me that you should never judge others. You do not know their circumstances or the trials they have faced. I would not want to be judged!
Thank you for the contest! I’ve wanted a Kindle for quite some time! LOL I wish you all the best with your new book and look forward to reading it!
Actually mine was the reverse from most, met a co-worker whom seemed quiet and meek. But when it came down to sneakiness this person blew us all away by things we learned and found out later. Lesson learned was still still have some reserve until you know the person fully!
Love your Historicals! this next series sounds great and looking forward to reading the first one 🙂
In college, had a classmate who was covered with tattoos (this was in the late 80s), dressed rough, older. We were in college to become teachers. Didn’t think much of him, didn’t think he would be hired anywhere. When taking a test that school age kids take, he blew me away with his English skills. He told me later that when he was bored, he would read the dictionary. I’ve always wondered if he ever got a teaching job.
I knew a guy in high school who was with the “bad crowd” – drugs, alcohol, usw.. Friends and teachers who knew this guy assumed his little sister was the same way. Unfortunately, I assumed the same thing based on rumors until I got to know her. She was nothing like her brother and we became close friends.
Mommy always said “do not judge a book by it’s cover” I know it is a bit worn out to say, but it is always so when you first meet people. I meet many people in my profession and have to remain non-judgmental and objective so that the information I need to impart will be well received. Some people will be very nice initially as they want something that I have to offer, some will be extremely grateful and some will expect me to do their work, which I cannot do. That is when I learn about the true spirit of individuals
One of my sister’s boyfriends… he seemed really nice, but I just had this weird feeling about him… gave him time to show his true colors… and boy did he… started to blame her for everything going wrong in his life… was so glad when she dumped him.
When I was a young Mom and was helping out at a school function there was one Mom who was very to herself and it was obvious she did’t want to converse with the rest of us and sat away from us so we stopped trying. We kept to ourselves after that for the rest of the night. Considered her a nob & that was that. Then my daughter brought a friend home one day after school. I called her Mom to let her know they were with me and she asked what time was a good time to pick her up. Well imagine when she knocked on the door and it was the mom from that night at school.She came in and within the hour of talking she told me how shy and nervous she was that night she could hsrdly talk. Gut, that taught me never to judge until you actually get to know someone. Our kids became best friends for years and the same with me and the mom.:)
Carol L
Lucky4750 (bei) aol (dot) com
My husband and I are retired and decided to take up shuffleboard as a way to meet other retired folks. On first acquaintance John seemed a very bossy person telling everyone where they should start play.
Since that first impression, I have learned John is a very caring person with a very gruff exterior. He has become a good friend to both my husband and me and has become a good teacher to me.
There have been a couple of people that I have met recently. I can’t say that there is any reputation involved in these cases, but there is first impression, which is just as important. One came across as a bit of a witch, and we seemed to butt heads a bit. With a little time and patience, I was able to work through that exterior, and we’re finally becoming friends. The other person is on the cocky side. I saw right away that it’s just an act, and we get along just fine. First impressions can be deceiving!!
At a job I used to work at their was a lead person I was told was really bossy and told on everyone. I started working with her and found her to be really nice and we got along great. She did like to work hard but; so did I.
When I first started working there were 2 secretaries who worked for the bosses in my department. At first they seemed so helpful and friendly. Later I found out they undercut everyone below them in the department, so I kept as far away from them as possible.
Hi Madeline,
I finished reading ARC of His Wicked Reputation. It was wonderful. My review is on Goodreads (I’m tedebear1998). It was interesting to see how society saw people in situations like Gareth.
As for the situation I’ll tell you one about me as a 20 something in the 60’s. I met a guy at a bar who was quite handsome. I was sitting on a bar stool at the time. Now you have to understand that I’m short (not quite 5′) and fat. I got up to go to the bathroom and it was downhill after that. But the story continues and my friends and I went to an after hours bar after that and low and behold he showed up. I sort of told him off and then we talked. I actually had a couple of dates with after that!
My best friend was quiet when she first met people but then she would come out with a zinger that had everyone laughing so hard. Miss her so much.
When I was in college I met this guy who had graduated from high school the same year I did. When I found that out I thought this guy is gonna be a handful. As I got to know him he turned into the sweetest guy I know. We have been friends ever since.
The comment don’t judge a book by its cover is true for people too. In high school a new student our senior year was grossly overweight and unattractive even by her statements. We are still best friends.
Sorry to say I have on occasion done just that…judging by reputation alone…and also come to the conclusion that better to meet and get to know the person than let someone special pass you by because of others opinions!
At work a few years ago I was told that a woman who transferred to our department was a real sweetheart. Come to find out that she was a major malicious gossip. Unfortunately, I found this out after I went out with her and a group of her friends.
I always try to avoid listening to the opinions of people about other people. You never knowm if the person giving the opinion has an axe to grind. I meet the person myself & let their actions speak for them. This way I can forman unbiased opinion of my own.
We have season tickets for an NHL team and the first year we had them there was a woman who sat 3 rows in front of us who other people around us thought was “strange” because of what she looked like. Well being new to that area of the rink we went along with other people. The next year we sat right behind her and got to talking to her. She is very nice and to this day even though we don’t sit by her anymore we still keep in contact. Proof that except for romance novels, you cannot usually judge a book by its cover.
It HS there was a boy in a wheelchair who had musculardistrophy that everyone made fun of. They thought that there wasn’t much to his mind and would never talk to him. At lunch one day I started talking with him, amazed at how smart he was because of what I had heard about him. Turned out that my mom knew his mom, when I told her about this great guy I met. We became best friends and I sat with him at lunch everyday, regardless of the stares that were directed at us.
I’ve been warned numerous times about people being mean or bad tempered and usually learn that’s not the case. You just have to figure out how to connect with them by being really sweet or sarcastic or whatever. I’ve met lots of people that others thought were antisocial but we hit it off because I made the effort to figure out how to reach them.
When a new coworker started I thought she was a bit of a prude. When I started to get to know her I learned she had a wicked sense of humor. Now she is one of my closest friends.
When I met my bff we were in 8th grade. She had come from a private Catholic school and her parents were quite wealthy. She was very tall, blond, and kind of a snob. That was my first impression. As it turned out we became very good friends. She was, and still is, one of the kindest hearted people, and loyal to the end. We were almost 14 when we met. We are now early 50’s and she is still my best friend. She really has a heart of gold.
I haven’t heard about anyone before I met them then found out they were very different from how I thought they’d be. Jedoch, I had a rocky working relationship one year. I found the other woman very negative about me and inhibiting. Turns out, she felt the same way about me.
When new neighbors moved in, I knocked on their door carrying my standard welcome basket–bread, salt and information about the area. I thought our quiet little neighborhood was in for a huge change when a guy with long, bright purple hair answered the door. Turns out, obwohl, he’s no crazier than the rest of us. LOL
BTW, Madeline, as leader of our local Romance Readers’ Circle, I’ve selected HIS WICKED REPUTATION for our March read.
Leigh
I work in a hotel. I had a guest walk in whom I thought was going to be stuck up and hard to please. He now stays with us every other week for his job and he is the easiest going, friendliest person who stays with us.
When I first met my friend Mark, I was kind of leery of him because he had tattoos and seemed wild. After I got to know him I realized he was a sweet, kind man who would give the shirt off his back to someone in need.
I am out going to the point my dad always said if there was no one around I would talk to the fence post. I did talk to everyone trash collectors, street cleaners the knife sharping man if they were on my block I talked to them and I was only 2.
I interviewed for two jobs in 1973 with the same company. I was promised the lower paying spot and told I had a chance at the higher paying spot but it wasn’t assured. I was unemployed, running out of money and needed income fast. I accepted the lower paying job. Ein paar Wochen später, I met a woman from my home state in a similar situation who had held out for the higher paying job and got it. I was resentful. We rode the city bus together as I recall and I would see here everyday. This did nothing for my resentment which grew daily. After about two years, we met face to face because of course I would not talk to her willingly because of my bitterness. I liked her. It took me a while but I finally managed to quell my own personal issues and accept that it had been my own decision to accept the lower paying job and nothing to do with my coworker. I rose through promotion and am satisfied with my career now that I am retired. My coworker and I separated over the course of years and events of life. But it has always been a personal lesson to me that I let my own grievances blind me to the worth of another. In the years since, I’ve tried to be more generous and get past the ‘beam in my own eye’ before I worry about the speck in another’s.
When I started college, the person that was assigned to be my advisor seemed like she didn’t really care and just stuck me into some classes. I changed my major so I could get a different advisor. The next year I was doing work study for the department she worked under and had to do some work for her. Through the years, I have gotten to know her and realized what I thought was uncaring was actually her bubbly personality. I have now worked for the same institution and have worked with her on committees, and state association conference planning team (of which she recommended me for). She has become one of my mentors and recently wrote a letter of recommendation for me.
I have noticed that several times in my life that there have been people I really liked when I first met them that ended up being someone I would prefer not to be around; and there have have been people I didn’t care for when I first met them that I ended up being really good friends with later on.
I didn’t like my husband the first time I met him, thought he was a bit arrogant. But I later learned some things were going on & we talked a second time & things went better 🙂
The summer before 10th Grade I found out I would have a certain English teacher. All my friends felt so sorry for me because she was said to be mean and a very hard grader. I worried all summer long. Turns out she was my favorite and best teacher of all time and even now (at age 60), I still think of her. She gave me the best education of all my classes ever and inspired me to become an English teacher. My one regret was that I never got to tell her how much she meant to me. I went back to my high school after graduating from college but she had already retired and they said they didnt have any idea where she was. God bless you Mrs. G.
In jr. high school I knew what it was like to be picked on and bullied. The girls used to through little balls of paper on my head and call me anorexic and stuck up. I probably eat more that them and I just can’t put on weight so I didn’t have an eating disorder and I am terribly shy so I really don’t know how to talk to people and carry a conversations thank goodness for novels. So I really don’t judge people based on their reputations for this reason.
My first day of high school could have been much different if not for one of the most popular boys at our school who befriended me and made my life wonderful.
Mike sat beside me that first day on the bus – he was a senior, I was a painfully shy, lowly sophmore, and eventhough I knew him from the neighborhood I was surprised when he struck up a conversation. He went a step further and walked me to my locker, showing me where it was located in the school and how it worked, my homeroom, usw..
Unnötig zu sagen,, having such a good-looking, popular boy as a friend established me for my next three years in H.S., and did improve my confidence….
The wonderful part is, from that day forward he truly became my friend!
In one of my first jobs, I worked next to a girl who came across as real harsh and opinionated. After working together for several months, it soon became obvious that she was just compensating for her own insecurities. We developed a friendship outside the office that lasted until she passed away.
A new person started working for us. They were slow and seemed to need a lot of extra time to do the work–our job required a pretty rapid pace in order to complete our assignments on time, plus our customer is usually waiting on us. They were hired and the rest of us groaned at the impending workload, as we would have to do our work, plus theirs now. Jedoch! This person threw all our misgivings out the window and has become a most cherished co-worker and friend. Shows we all just need to practice patience and persevere. Adapt and overcome!
Mein Mann und ich…neither of us thought much of the other when we were young. We reconnected at university and started dating…still married over thirty years later. Also when I worked at the school I learned teachers could be just as guilty as anyone of having preconceived notions about incoming students. Sometimes they were influenced by previous contacts with siblings or what other teachers said or what they knew about the family and their background. That was a bit disillusioning for me.
Gut, my story is a little different. I met someone who was my boss and I thought it would be wonderful to work with them. Little did I know, that they would end up turning the situation into an ageist, hostile work environment. it was a very sad situation… 🙁
When I first met my husband I thought he was the biggest ass. I was meeting my dad and him for dinner. He walked away pretty early on in the meal and went up to the bar and was visiting with other people. Turns out he was trying to give my dad and me time to visit alone, since we had not seen each other in a while. When I met Harold again a few months later, I realized early on that he was the one for me. He was very caring, friendly and just a good person…. way different from that first impression.
When i was in high school there was a girl who had the reputation of being a “rough” kind of girl. She seemed to have a hard life and kind of a chip on her shoulder from it. I was always friendly were her just as I was with everyone else, but often was kind of looked at like, “really lady who the hell are you?” This went on from 7th grade to our Senior Year of high school. We always had a lot of the same classes and one day she turns around in class and asks if I want to exchange senior pics. I was terrified. I looked back at her and said, “Seriously you don’t even like me.” She asked what gave me that impression and I proceeded to name a few of the many situations that led me to think that way. To my immense surprise she told me something I will never forget, “It’s not that I don’t like you. Actually, I think you are one of the coolest people I know. You always smile, you always say hi, and it never matters what I say or how I act. You are the only person who has always been exactly who she claims to be and I admire that a lot. Maybe we should sit down and chat more often.” I lost touch with her for quite a few years, but thanks to the magic of Facebook we have reconnected and I am honored to call her one of my friends.
My first impression of my husband was that he was a jock but now that i know him, we share a lot of things in common.
I have always been the one to be friendly to all new people. But sometimes, the first impressions don’t show the real person, and the negatives come forward. I have had to learn how not to be so easily lead by first impressions.
First impressions are not always right on, you need to get to know them better before you can draw an opinion.
Susan
First impressions are not always right on, you need to get to know the person better first.
Susan
I can’t think of anyone I knew by reputation (and then got to know) before I met them. I try to keep an open mind, but I’ve definitely gotten bad impressions of people on occasion. I don’t let it affect how I treat the person, because first impressions can be wrong.
back in high school I had based an opinion of an ex-girlfriend of my boyfriends on things he told me about her. Later I had this girl in a class of mine after I had already broken it off with the guy. We discussed what the boyfriend had said about each of us to each other. And if what he said about me was wrong then what he said about her was probably wrong. We didn’t become best friends but friends nonetheless. I was ashamed of believing him when I did not have all the facts.
There was a professor in my department at college. I was extremely excited to take a class with her, because I had heard that she was a great mentor for students, especially those from disadvantaged backgrounds, and that she cared about important topics that weren’t commonly discussed by others. When I got to know her, obwohl, my opinion changed for the worse, unfortunately. Although she does feel very passionately about certain topics, she focuses so intensely on those that she has blinders on when it comes to other topics and ideas. She also had her favorite students that she put on a pedestal; everyone else, no matter how hard we tried, were cut down in subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) ways. Rather than providing support and encouragement, she did the complete opposite for the majority of my class.
I’ve also learned that you can’t tell a person by their reputation. Sometimes they’re worse than that! lol
I agree!
I have at times an immediate feeling of not liking someone, not certain why but its like an aura they have about them that makes me leery of them. Aber, I have found that when that happens first impressions can change, for the better hopefully but not always. Maybe its intuition, I am not sure but I can always count on it to be right…..most of the time, indicating this may be a person to shy away from or work a little harder to friend them.
I had been told that one of my boyfriend’s family members was a difficult person and not easy to get along with. I have met her several times in the last several years and she has always been easy to talk to and we get along very well. While I will listen to other’s depictions of people, I always make my own decisions about them based on my direct interactions with them.
I learned in 7th grade that reputations are not necessarily accurate. I was asked by several member of our elementary school Safety Patrol (all reputed to be of high moral character) to join a ring of test cheaters! I thanked them politely, but refused. Now I take everything I hear about someone, good or bad, with a grain of salt.
We live in a townhouse, and a few years ago we got new next door neighbors. My husband and a few of the women in the complex office were always talking about how the lady was always complaining, and hard to get along with. Since my husband was saying it I just assumed that the woman was unfriendly, and haughty. I had passed her several times on the way to check the mail, and she always looked away. Turns out my sister in law was friends with her. One day we were over her house and our next door neighbor was there with her husband. I got to talking to her, and she was not at all what I thought she was. She was very friendly, and funny! We have had the opportunity to spend time with them many times over the years, and I like her. I have learned that I will never make assumptions again, based on someone else s opinion.
I have found that often a persons reputation is deserved but that is only one side of the person. We are all much more complex than a reputation can describe. An example is my friend Lisa. She was the PTA president at our children’s elementary school and gained a reputation as being obsessively correct with the finances. Many members were offended because she required them to get permission before spending any PTA money and then provide receipts afterwards. She was not liked by many parents and teachers. As her friend, she would talk to me about this issue and why she did what she did. She would also talk about how this made her feel. Since then I have tried to remember that a person is more than the “popular” reputation you hear about. Many of your characters have demonstrated this as you develop them through their stories. We are all more than what you see on the outside.
I had a boss who was just impossible to deal with when I was younger. He constantly ignored my vacation requests and just made the work place not an ideal place to work in. I later found out that his wife was going through chemo and he was having trouble balancing his work and personal life.
When my son was about 3 I would take him to the park after work. One day there were two other women there with their kids, all in the same age range or a little older. The women looked very stylish and were talking rapidly in French, and were not very friendly. I was in sweatpants, having taken off my office clothes as soon as I got home. My son wanted to run around with their kids but their kids were not including him. I live in a small town 2 hours from New York City and it is common to see “weekenders” (people who have second homes around here)around town, and I kept thinking “who are these snotty women who wouldn’t even look my way?”
I saw one of the women again the next time I was at the park–it turns out she was new in town, and was American but was married to a French man and they had just moved here from Germany. Our kids ended up at the same preschool and we are now good friends. The other woman (who is French, married to an American) is also a friend but lives a few towns away, and had moved into the area from New York. At the time I saw them in the park they knew very few people and were glad to be able to talk to each other.
I worried about my new son-in-law. Several people who knew him in high school said critical things about him. He has turned out to be a real sweetheart, and treats my daughter so well!
My sister married a guy that has a long beard, tattoo’s, rough looking and kinda loud. When I first saw him, lets just say I wasn’t too happy with her choice. I usually try really hard not to judge someone, especially just by looks! That first time I met him, I didn’t even give him a chance. As our family kept getting together for holidays, I got to know him better…and I truly feel horrible for stereotyping him into a certain “group”! He is a big, kind of scary looking teddy bear! He is awesome, and I wouldn’t want her (my sister) to be married to anyone else! Love him!
My daughter dated a guy who would constantly make plans and then have some conflict at the last minute. He just seemed really flaky and then he got into a mysterious accident that left him with brain damage that impaired his ability to remember her. So they eventually broke up and she was with another guy and then after she was with her new boyfriend for a year, he popped back into her life saying that he remembered her. Everything just seemed so fishy.
Turns out he had brain cancer and a lot of other medical complications and his home situation prevented him from seeing her but after getting to know him, he was able to open up to me and my wife so that we were really able to see him for who he really is. He really is a great guy who has just gone through some terrible ordeals.
I was assigned to a new supervisor with a reputation for being a terror. I steeled myself for the worse and hoped for the best, and found out her bark wasn’t really that bad and have never felt her bite….noch. 😀
I was given a new assistant who has just been crazy to work with. Turns out that a friend of a friend got her the job and she’s just really new to everything. She’s actually very bright but just new to the business world
As a consultant, I work for several different “bosses”. One boss had the reputation of being very nasty and wanting everything done immediately. Once I got to know her, I realized she just had very high expectations for herself but was very realistic in the expectations of the people that worked for her. Now that I know her and have had the opportunity to work for her, I feel fortunate as she is very knowledgeable and I have learned a lot from her.
Thanks for the giveaway Medeline – – I love your books!
Hmm…Als ich ein Teenager war,, I had a crush on a guy who had a reputation for being mean and cold. When we spent some time alone, I found out that he was very sweet and poetic even. It took me by surprise and I ended up dating him for a few years off and on. 😉
I had heard stories about a friend of a friend, basically that this girl was crazy. When I finally met her, I braced myself for an irrational and volatile creature. Instead, I came to know a smart, passionate girl and learned a lesson about how women are described.
My first math professor in college had a reputation for being strict and hard. She was a bit condescending at times but I understood that she just had high expectations, she was the head of the department at the time. I was surprised when I went to her office hours because she was much more approachable compared to her presence in class.
I learned in my late teens not to listen to gossip. It’s rarely right and I prefer making up my own mind about people.
I’m an older student returning to school. I had a summer math class to take that was only offered by one professor at the campus closest to my home. Everyone I asked told me to drive further to a different campus to avoid this professor. There were no positive comments. I signed up for the class anyway and had no problems at all. I could see where some of the comments came from but found the professor to be nice and very knowledgeable. I’m so glad I trusted my instincts and didn’t follow the group opinion.
Met this guy who was known as a womanizer. He hung out around all of these different girls and just had this reputation of being a ladies man. Turns out that he was hiding in the closet. He was the sweetest guy that you just couldn’t love.
While not a similar situation as Eva and Gareth, my thoughts flow towards my son. He is my first child and is currently 17 Monate alt. I certainly had ideas and preconceptions about being a mother and what raising my baby would entail. He didn’t come with a reputation, per se, but as a baby I had my own ideas of what was to come. After meeting him, jedoch, and loving him as only a mother can love a child I soon saw that the cliches of sleepless nights and ‘mommy brain’ are very real but cannot compare to watching my son learn to walk, the feeling of his hugs or the frightening way I love him.
Had someone be really rude to me on my first day of work. Had no idea that I was replacing her best friend in the job. We’re good friends now.
We go out for breakfast at a local diner each morning now that we are retired. We meet friends there and one of them was telling stories about a man that came in each morning. They said that he never shaved, looked dirty and like a drifter. I was hesitant to talk to him but one day I saw him come in and I asked him to join my husband and I at our table. We had a great time talking and found out he is a local farmer, very intelligent and he wears a long beard because in the cold weather when he is out working his fields it helps keep his face warm. He has given us all kinds of produce he grows and we have become good friends.
Like so many others who have posted here, I based my first impression of a new co-worker on what others said about her before she arrived on site. Tatsächlich, as a part-time employee, I lost my comfortable office space to her, so I had reason to resent her. When she arrived, jedoch, I learned that she had been transferred against her will from a long-held position in a very political organization and after observing her at work, I could see that she was a hard-worker who pulled no punches when it came to doing her job. She became my friend for whom I have the greatest respect.
My ex husband… When I first met him, he was a stinky, nasty, oily mess, I was disgusted by him, but he was so beautifulll!After getting to know him, he was a police officer, sexy right?
Ja , I have judged people that I didn’t know thinking I didn’t like them . After being around and talking to them I have grown to love most of them .